Total Divas Season 6 Episode 3 Review: Big Flippin Deal

Previously: Maryse is back. In case you didn’t know.

At the home Mizyse, the dog pees a lot.

Paige talks to Alicia about jumping back into the dating scene. YES! FINALLY! PAIGE AND DEL RIO STUFF! Hopefully. Mark Carano talks to Trinity and tells her that they are going to put in her in Marine 5. I don’t remember her being promoted in the movie at all. Maybe I should go and watch it. Trinity talks to Maryse, and says she’s gonna kick Miz’ ass.

Maryse tells us that Miz is a sweet and romantic person outside of the ring. So, what you’re saying is, the guy he is on TV. Is just. A character?

At the home of Brie and Bryan, Brie is waiting on the results of her pregnancy test. She’s two weeks late on her period and is hopeful. However, it’s not quite October, and she’s not quite pregnant.

Eva Marie heads to casa de Mizyse, Miz shows her around, and Eva is impressed. Maryse talks about her house flipping adventures. I want to see them actually flip the house.

Trinity enlists Jon Uso to help her run lines. Trinity is worried about having to ride a motorcycle. She’s also worried about doing this without Jon, and the pressure she’s putting on herself.

Maryse and Eva head to the dog shelter. My dog is not happy with this scene. Maryse wants to bring a dog home, but knows that Miz won’t be happy.

It’s a girls weekend for Brie, Nikki, Renee, Lana, and Paige. Brie is not pregnant, so she is going into Brie Mode. Brie is wearing a thong, and this pleases Nikki because she only loves Brie when she’s in Brie Mode.

Maryse and Eva head from the shelter. Maryse, of course, got the dog. She’s going to take the dog to the red carpet event so Miz doesn’t see the new dog. Paris Hilton used to do this all the time, so it’s not a big deal. Miz gets home early, before Maryse has left for the event. Maryse grabs the dog before Miz can see her and heads to the event, where the dog poops on the carpet.

Lana, Nikki, and Brie go to dinner and discuss getting tattoos. This scene was pointless.

Maryse heads up with the dog. She introduces the new dog to Miz and Miz is like, “why you keep getting animals?” The three dogs start barking. My dog is barking from the couch. WHY DID YOU GET THE DOG MARYSE?!?!

Trinity and Jon go to the bike shop so Trinity can “get into character.” The female Daniel Day Lewis right here. Trinity puts on a sport biker jacket, and then gets scared of the motorcycle when the clerk revs it.

The five B’s (blondes and brunettes), head to the photoshoot. Renee and Paige cheer on a couple that is making out on the beach. Lana totally breaks character even further, and takes pictures in an American flag bikini. Brie talks about wanting to do sexy photos before she gets pregnant. Nikki wonders why Brie is feeling like this. So Nikki has a problem when Brie wants to be conservative, and a problem when she wants to be sexy. Got it?

Jon buys Trinity a mini dirtbike. Trinity gets on it, rides it for a second, and falls. Then she gets pissed. Trinity unloads on Jon that he’s always trying to joke, and she’s super stressed right now. Laughter is the best medicine? Trinity is putting way too much pressure on herself for a WWE Films movie. It’s Marine 5. Don’t worry about it.

Maryse and Miz check out a house that they want to flip. Miz doesn’t like the place. Maryse likes it, and informs him that she’s already bought it. Miz needs to take away her credit cards. Miz is not happy. Maryse says she paid $390,000. “They wanted $400,000.” So, at least she saved a bit of money.

The five B’s go to dinner. Brie wants to go to the tattoo shop. She can get a tattoo, Paige can get a guy. Renee wants a tattoo as well. Nikki, of course, won’t allow Brie to do this. She thinks Bryan would be upset. WHY DO YOU NOW CARE WHAT BRYAN THINKS?!?!?! So now Nikki is all concerned about Bryan and Brie’s relationship even though she’s never been concerned about it, always wants Brie to get away from Bryan, and live her own life. AHHHHHHHH!

Brie asks Nikki why she’s being like this. Nikki tells her that, “you’re acting like this is your last fun weekend ever.”. Brie sees her point, because she’s rational, and that’s the end of that.

Miz talks to Maryse about the pressures of the movie. Marine 5 is a super important movie, I guess. Miz worrys about Maryse spending all of their money, and having nothing. Miz wants them to communicate. Maryse thinks that her dad disappearing and dying is why she wants everything. Or something. I guess it’s, “do it today because tomorrow isn’t promised”? Maryse apologizes for getting the house.

Jon buys Trinity flowers, and wrote her a letter. The letter says that he booked a flight to visit her on set. Now,  everything is fine. Trinity is confident and not stressed.

Maryse gives the new dog to her sister, and the Miz looks relieved. The episode ends with Miz and Maryse’s brother speaking French.

So, out of all the new additions, Miz has been the best. I guess that shouldn’t be surprising, but he seems really normal. Why are all the guys on this show normal, and all the girls are crazy? I’ve been wondering this for six seasons, and I’m not sure we’ll ever have an answer.