Lucha Underground S03E13 “Breaker of Bone” Review
Location: Boyle Heights, California inside The Temple
Lucha Underground Review 11.30.16
Just a quick note: There are a lot of GIFs in this review. Maybe too many, but if you’ve never seen Lucha or STARDOM before. Hopefully, this will make you seek out more of both promotion’s stuff.
The opening video package this week focuses specifically on Pentagon Dark, Dragon Azteca Jr., and Black Lotus’s history with each other. Black Lotus found out that Dragon Azteca killed both of her parents, and took her revenge on him at the end of season one. Her vendetta continued with the next man to don the mask, ultimately leading to a match between the two at Ultima Lucha Dos. However, Pentagon Dark broke both of their arms in that very match. Then, Black Lotus returned with her triad to attack Pentagon Dark during Aztec Warfare III. Tonight, we get the gauntlet match between Pentagon Dark, and the Black Lotus Triad.
Backstage, Pentagon bumps into Vampiro, who tells him that everybody eventually has to pay for their sins. We get highlights of Pentagon’s last attack on Vampiro, where he declared that Vampiro was no longer his master.
As we go ringside, Matt Striker begins hyping up tonight’s series of matches with Pentagon Dark. When he pitches it to Vampiro, however, we find that he’s unresponsive. Big things are about to happen folks.
Gauntlet Match #1!
Pentagon Dark vs. Doku
Winner: Pentagon via Referee Stoppage
All of the members of the Black Lotus Triad are from the STARDOM promotion over in Japan. First up for Pentagon is Doku, better known as Kairi Hojo. The two have a long stare down, and Doku opens up with a flurry of strikes and chops. Pentagon then floors her with a huge dropkick, and absolutely destroys her with a superkick sometime after!
It’s gonna be a review full of GIFS guys, I can already tell. Pentagon connects with the big chop, and Doku sells it so well. There’s a reason they put her in the first match folks. Pentagon sends her to the outside, and throws Doku into everything you can imagine. Pentagon then press slams Doku high into the air, and she lands face first on the ring apron. Doku gets introduced into the side of Dario’s office, and Pentagon damn near takes her head off her shoulders with another superkick. Doku finally gets going with a spear, and shes goes up to the top rope. She connects with a huge elbow drop! She goes up for another, but Pentagon catches her arm, and breaks it! The referee stops the match, and the crowd eats it all up.
I really dug the match. Doku went above and beyond to sell Pentagon’s offense, and she gets to look equally impressive as well. There’s no rest for the wicked though. ** and ½ *
We cut to Jeremiah Gray in the gym, lifting some weights. Catrina appears, and says it’s a real shame what happened to Ivelisse. However, Catrina says she’s surprised to see Jeremiah back in the flesh. According to Catrina, it’s clear that Jeremiah is still in love with her, and not Ivelisse, as we hears a piece of a stone he stole from her around his neck! However, Catrina is now in love with somebody else. She gives Gray the lick of death, and disappears.
Gauntlet Match #2!
Pentagon Dark vs. Yurei
Winner: Pentagon Dark via Referee Stoppage
Next up in the Gauntlet is Yurei, better known as Maya Iwatani. Yurei ain’t here to play games though, and comes out swinging with some beautiful lucha moves.
Yuri then introduces Pentagon’s face and body to various places outside of the ring. Pentagon starts firing back with some kicks, and focuses on Yurei’s left leg. Yurei has enough of that though, and slaps the taste of Pentagon’s mouth to go back on the offensive. She rolls him back into the ring, and hits some more strikes. Pentagon catches the leg he focused on earlier, and starts working a submission hold. He works the leg some more, and hits his trademark chop. Yurei starts the comeback, and nails a top rope hurricanrana! She then opts to destroy Pentagon with a double stomp.
After the near fall, Yurei nails a tilt-a-whirl DDT and goes for a flipping senton. Pentagon catches her though, and nails the package piledriver.
It’s then time to say goodbye to another arm. I really enjoyed that match. Yurei gets in a lot of offense to show that Pentagon is tiring, and Pentagon still looks dangerous. Not to mention, Yurei’s big spots were a thing of beauty. ***
Somewhere in the Temple, Matanza furiously punches a wall. Obviously, he’s still enraged at getting beaten in Aztec Warfare III. Dario enters, and tells him he’s got a match with Johnny Mundo for the Lucha Underground Title. Matanza loudly refuses. Dario asks him what he wants then, to which Matanza replies “MYSTERIO!”. Matanza’s hands are covered in blood, and it appears Matanza moonlights as an artist.
Gauntlet Match #3!
Pentagon Dark vs. Hitokiri
Winner: Hitokiri via Standing Destroyer
Io Shirai dons the mantle of Hitokiri, and as Pentagon awaits her to make her entrance, she’s already on the top turnbuckle waiting!
She wasn’t done…
Still not done…
The point I’m trying to make here is that Io Shirai is life guys. Hitokiri pulls out a chair, and Pentagon gets it thrown into his face. She works Pentagon over with the chair some more, and I don’t envy Pentagon Dark one bit here. Pentagon continues to get his butt handed to him on the outside, and Hitokiri tosses Pentagon into the wooden chairs at ringside. Hitokiri pulls up the protective mats on the floor, and makes him go splat onto it with a bodyslam. After working Pentagon over on the outside, she rolls him back into the ring. Hitokiri dominates Pentagon with some strikes, but finally, Pentagon has enough of that nonsense.
Pentagon works her over with some kicks, and hits the big chop! OUCH! Pentagon then just straight up kicks Hitokiri in the face. Pentagon continues the punishment on the outside, and decides the fans haven’t seen enough of Hitokiri yet.
The fans get the “holy shit” chant going while Pentagon grabs the camera cables. He whips her with them, chokes her with them, and then uses them to push her throat against the turnbuckle. After almost committing a murder, Pentagon decides it chair time, and whacks her across the bum with it. Pentagon sets up the chair on the outside, and kicks Hitokiri in the ribs. Pentagon sends her into more the chairs at ringside. It’s equally as painful as the first time. In a tit for tat, Pentagon pulls up the floor mats, and does this…
Pentagon smacks Hitokiri’s face into the guardrail a couple of times, and goes to throw her into the chair. However, Hitokiri reverses, and drop toe holds him into the chair. She climbs the steps of The Temple, and finds her way to the top of Dario’s office. We all know where this is going folks.
Un…freakin…believable. They find their way back into the ring. Pentagon goes for the package piledriver. Hitokiri fights out of it, and puts Pentagon away!
I’ve watched a ton of wrestling in my life, and in this year alone guys. That was one of the hardest hitting, absolutely insane matches I’ve seen this year. ****
After the match, Black Lotus herself comes down for her match. It never starts though, as she attacks the referee. She stomps on Pentagon a bit, and then breaks his arm! Dragon Azteca Jr. returns to a huge ovation! We haven’t seen him since Chavo attacked him some weeks ago. He enters the ring, and has a stare down with Black Lotus. Lotus and her girls leave, and Dragon Azteca Jr. takes his own vengeance on Pentagon Dark by breaking his other arm!
Prince Puma awakens from his slumber inside the coffin. Vampiro, whose all painted up, tells him to “Come with me.” Oh dear…
And… we’re out.
Overall Rating: 8 out of 10 This episode is one of the things that Lucha Underground does best. There’s a ton of storytelling going on within the storytelling. Vampiro on commentary really continues to add a lot to his ongoing story with Pentagon, the overall pace and flow of the Gauntlet told it’s own story, and Black Lotus & Dragon Azteca get a measure of revenge against Pentagon. The STARDOM trio looked incredible, and I hope we get to see them for a long time coming. Just go watch this episode folks. You will not regret it.