Previously: Nikki Bella wants Daniel Bryan to be a trainer, but Bryan is depressed and doesn’t want to do it.

Nikki is sad that Brie Mode no longer exists. So, is this episode about her drinking? This is followed by a Bella grammar discussion. I’m betting this all has nothing to do with anything.

INTRO!

It’s Saturday Night and the Bella family is ready to drink. Bella Brother gives Brie a hard time about her lack of drinking and her lack of risky clothing. Brie Bella makes an excellent point that she’s not changing for her man, she’s just growing up. Nikki, however, knows nothing about growing up.

The dog eats his own poop. Then kisses Brie. Vince McMahon wrote that scene.

Nikki and Brie discuss Brie’s house. Brie wants to build small and add-on later. Nikki wants her to build a five bedroom mansion. Total Divas has been on the air for like three years and Nikki is still trying to turn Brie into a Nikki-clone. It’s a pretty tired storyline. Nikki does the whole, “I know the real you. I know what you really want” speech. Brie just rolls her eyes.

Bella Brother’s Wife has arrived. Where has she been? Of course, it’s not explained. Her name is Bella Wife for the purposes of this review. Please adjust your casting list.

The Bella Family discusses Brie and Bryan’s house. They continue to pressure Brie into getting this huge house. Bryan calls out Nikki for her lack of humility. This leads to a big argument about Nikki having everything even though she hasn’t worked as hard as others and furthers the argument about the house. IT’S BRIE AND BRYAN’S HOUSE! LET THEM BUILD WHAT THEY WANT! I honestly feel bad for Bryan right now. He wants something small, his wife seems fine with that, and if it was just them they could probably compromise. Instead, the whole Bella Family is there to tell him that he needs a giant house.

Bryan and Nikki are now in a car together. They both apologize. Well, that was a nice and quick resolution. What the hell are they gonna do for the next 45 minutes now that they quickly resolved the whole thing with the house?

Family dinner time. Bella Brother and Bella Wife are pregnant. The due date is October 25. So that tells you how long ago this was filmed considering that October 25 was yesterday.

The men and women head to their separate rooms. The girls are gonna throw a party, and get wasted even though Bella Wife can’t drink. Brie doesn’t like drinking as much, and Nikki isn’t supposed to drink a lot with her neck rehab. But who cares! Let’s drink!

The men fill in John Cena on the argument between Nikki and Bryan. Cena just asks, “Is everything okay?” Bryan says they both apologized, and everything is fine. Cena accepts this, and doesn’t feel the need to punch Bryan in the face.

Nikki brings her friends to the girl party, even though the party is for Bella Mom.

Brie lets Nikki know that Bryan got a phone call from the doctors that said he could never compete again. This is the outside doctors, not the WWE doctors. Bryan is leaving, and doesn’t think he’ll be back in time for the wedding. This is really hard to watch. Bryan is the most likable character on this show, and it’s rough watching him struggle like this.

Bella Brother is driving all of the women to Naples. Why? Brie tries to explain Bryan’s situation, which causes Nikki feels bad for the whole house argument. Brie feels bad for not being with Bryan. But, not bad enough that she’s giving up this trip to Naples. Although, I’ll be fair to Brie, and say that depressed people often just want to be left alone and given space.

The girls and Bella Brother all have a great time in Naples, drinking by the pool. Big Johnny crashes the party. Truly, this is a terrible bachelorette party. Who invites the son and the husband to be at a bachelorette party?

Nikki and Brie bicker about changing, and then Brie decides to try to drown her sister while she’s wearing the neck brace. GREAT HEEL MOVE! Honestly, I can’t blame Brie for this heel turn. She’s been pushed to her limits.

Big Johnny has a discussion with Brie, and tries to explain where Nikki is coming from. Specifically, he does a great job explaining the rationale behind Nikki’s attacks. If only Nikki could talk in a calming manner instead of picking fights.

Nikki talks to Bella Wife about her problems. WHY DON’T YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER ABOUT THIS?!?! In fact, Bella Wife asks exactly that. Nikki tries to put the blame on Brie and her changing. SHE GREW UP! SHE SETTLED DOWN! Nikki questions whether or not Brie is truly happy with Bryan. Finally, that’s how the episode ends.

This episode was infuriating. The “Brie has changed” storyline has become old news. I guess it’s new to the Total Bellas universe, but I can’t imagine anyone watching Total Bellas who didn’t watch Total Divas. It felt much worse this time around though given what Bryan is going through. I think Nikki worked hard and it’s paid off, but that doesn’t make her any less selfish and controlling. Bryan and Brie dropped everything to move in with her, and help her out during a pretty tough time for them. However, instead of making them feel welcome and appreciating this, she just complains and picks fights. I choose to believe that this is not the real her.